What causes toxic positivity?
Michael King
Updated on March 09, 2026
It comes from feeling uncomfortable with negative emotions. It is often well-intentioned but can cause alienation and a feeling of disconnection. Stop toxic positivity by clarifying what you want from your conversation partner. Let yourself feel your feelings, and let others share theirs without needing to fix them.
What makes positivity toxic?
We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.Is toxic positivity a form of Gaslighting?
Toxic positivity, at first glance, may not seem unhealthy. However, this form of communication can be harmful as it can cause shame, feelings of guilt, and the prevention of human emotional growth. It is a form of gaslighting.How do you stop toxic positivity?
Here are three places to start.
- Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable. “Overcoming toxic positivity requires courage,” Bruin tells us. ...
- Avoid Common Toxically Positive Phrases. ...
- Accept That Change Won't Happen Overnight.
Where does toxic positivity stem from?
According to licensed therapist Jody Kemmerer, LCSW, toxic positivity stems from wishing we were feeling something we aren't. We aren't comfortable with those tough feelings, "so we admonish ourselves to feel differently," she previously explained to mbg.Is Empathy a Bad Thing? (The good, the bad, and the ugly of being an empath)
Is toxic positivity a coping mechanism?
“While cultivating a positive mind-set is a powerful coping mechanism, toxic positivity stems from the idea that the best or only way to cope with a bad situation is to put a positive spin on it and not dwell on the negative,” said Natalie Dattilo, a clinical health psychologist with Brigham and Women's Hospital in ...What are signs of toxic positivity?
10 Signs You're Suffering From 'Toxic Positivity'
- You hide how you really feel. ...
- You dismiss all negative feelings. ...
- You feel guilty about feeling sad or angry. ...
- You hide behind positive sayings and quotes. ...
- You wouldn't dare to be seen unhappy. ...
- You scold people who lack positivity. ...
- You tell your friends “it could be worse”
When did toxic positivity start?
The term "toxic positivity" was around before 2020, but it took the COVID-19 pandemic for many of us to become aware of its insidious effects.Who invented toxic positivity?
Life is suffering. No amount of positive thinking exercises will change this truth.” The antidote to toxic positivity is “tragic optimism,” a phrase coined by the existential-humanistic psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.Do narcissists use toxic positivity?
Often, toxic positivity is a trait exhibited by the person who is in a relationship with a narcissist; the belief that a positive mindset is the best way to deal with problems, even when they are being gaslighted or lied to.What is toxic optimism?
Of course, staying upbeat and expressing gratitude are hardly adverse practices, but this unrelenting optimism – known as 'toxic positivity' – paints negative emotions as a failure or weakness.What do you call toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity or sometimes positive toxicity is a dysfunctional approach to emotional management that happens when people do not fully acknowledge negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness.What do you say to avoid toxic positivity?
Other toxic positivity phrases look like:
- You'll get over it!
- Don't be so negative.
- Think happy thoughts!
- It could be worse.
- Failure is not an option.
- Positive vibes only. (This is similar to the aforementioned “good vibes only.”)
- If I can do it, you can do it!
- Just be happy.